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‘100 log khare hoke bolenge…apna naak, haath badlo’: Kajol asks young talent not to take unsolicited advice; expert tips on how to stand tall against external criticism | Feelings News

Kajol, mother to a 22-year-old daughter, understands the profound impact words can have on young, impressionable minds. Speaking at the Rising Bharat Summit 2025, she offered heartfelt advice to fresh talent and aspiring actors.
“Pehli baat main yeh kehna chahungi ki please don’t take advice from everybody. Most importantly, kyunki agar aap puchenge mujhe kya karna chahiye toh 100 log khare hoke bolenge tumhe yeh karna chahiye, tumhe apna naak badlo, tumhe apna haath badlo, baalon ka colour badlo, yeh karo vo karo. (First of all, I would like to say, please do not take advice from everybody. If you ask people what you should do, then 100 people would stand up and tell you to change your nose, hand, hair colour, this or that),” said Kajol.
But it’s not always easy to shrug off criticism and find peace within. Rima Bhandekar, a psycholog at Mpower, Aditya Birla Education Trust, told that hearing or reading criticism can feel hurtful and linger for days in our minds. At times, criticism might seem unfair, harsh, or even impolite. But with a growth mindset, we can handle other people’s points of view with elegance and good spirit, and use them as fodder to reinvent ourselves with time.

She suggested a 3-step process to stand tall against external and unwarranted criticism:
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Change the narrative
When you receive criticism, try to look at it from a third-person perspective first—‘How would a positive influence in my life, someone who is a successful and calm person, treat this criticism?’ Then, focus on the useful and actionable parts of the criticism point, trying to separate the tone from the message.
Regulate your emotions
Hearing words that show you in a negative light can cause strong reactions such as anger, shame, frustration, or a feeling of worthlessness. In such times, it is very important to take a moment to mentally pause before reacting. A few deep breaths, talking to someone wise in your circle, writing down answers to self-reflective questions, or taking a quick walk can help you avoid overthinking the criticism.
Respond to disapproval with gratitude and humility. If you can thank the person for their feedback, it will signal that you are open to learning.

Work on yourself
Use the critical message as an opportunity to prove yourself to others. Don’t let negativity change you from working towards your bigger dreams. If you are told off for not meeting expectations, talk to expert people about how you can advance over time.Story continues below this ad
It helps to get a fresh perspective from others to process through the emotions attached to criticism, recognize that everyone can have an opinion about you, whether you like it or not, and think about yourself through a kindness lens to avoid excessive self-judgment.

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