‘I don’t trust…’: Erica Fernandes says Kuch Rang Pyaar Ke Aise Bhi co-star Shaheer Sheikh’s Do Patti reminded her of past abuse; coping strategies that can help | Feelings News

Television actor Erica Fernandes has opened up about a deeply personal and painful experience from her past. In a conversation with Shardul Pandit on his podcast, she revealed that watching Do Patti, starring Shaheer Sheikh and Kriti Sanon, triggered memories of an abusive relationship she endured. 
The actor, who worked with Shaheer in the show Kuch Rang Pyaar Ke Aise Bhi, opened up about her past, saying, “I have gone through a very violent relationship. It was physically abusive as well. It reached a stage where there was physical abuse. But I didn’t want to bring it out at that time.”
Speaking about her decision to stay silent, she admitted that fear and public scrutiny played a role. “When you’re an actor, everything becomes news. If you go to the police, it’ll be all over the media, leading to a media trial. If you don’t reveal the name, people start linking it to someone. Plus, I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be if I went to the police. I don’t trust the judicial system that much,” she explained. 
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Years later, the emotional scars remain, resurfacing when she watches depictions of abuse on screen. But what impact does such trauma have on survivors, and why do so many hesitate to come forward?
How fear of legal uncertainty and media scrutiny affects survivors’ decisions to report abuse
Sonal Khangarot, a licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherap, tells , “Survivors often hesitate to report abuse due to the unpredictable nature of legal outcomes and the potential for media attention. This fear is rooted in the possibility of not being believed or having their experiences trivialised a system that may not always protect them. Media scrutiny can further exacerbate these concerns, exposing survivors to public judgment, victim narratives, or misinterpretation of their experiences.”

How past trauma resurfaces and coping strategies that can help
When Erica described experiencing flashbacks while watching scenes of physical abuse in Do Patti, it highlighted how deeply reminders of past violence can trigger embedded traumatic memories. Khangarot explains, “The human brain, in an attempt to protect itself, can involuntarily relive these moments, making the experience feel as immediate and visceral as the original trauma.”
She suggests coping strategies such as grounding techniques, controlled breathing exercises like box breathing, and mindfulness practices such as guided imagery. “Therapeutic interventions like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) can help survivors reprocess trauma and diminish the emotional charge of these memories. Developing a strong support network, including trusted professionals and peer support groups, also plays a crucial role in creating a safe space for processing emotions,” she says.
Why survivors are questioned about their silence and how to create a more supportive environment
Survivors of abuse are often met with the question: Why didn’t you speak up earlier? This response, Khangarot notes, is rooted in long-standing myths and stereotypes about abuse and gender roles. “Unfortunately, this unjustly shifts the responsibility onto survivors rather than questioning the root cause of abuse. Such scrutiny reinforces feelings of guilt and shame, deterring survivors from coming forward,” she says.Story continues below this ad
She emphasises the need to challenge these misconceptions through education and open dialogue to foster a more supportive environment. Empathy is key. We must reframe the narrative to focus on the perpetrator’s actions rather than the survivor’s responses.”