‘Mere roles baaki actor cheen lete the…alcohol was my only resort’: Bob Deol on battling failure | Feelings News

The showbiz is no less than a game of snakes and ladders, where your success mostly depends on how many hits you deliver at the box office. The day you fail, you are at the bottom of the chart staring into the unknown. Precisely what happens with Animal actor Bob Deol, who once ruled the silver screen with his dimpled smile and peppy dance numbers.
The 56-year-old actor, on Raj Shamani’s podcast, shared how his career graph, which was on the rise in the late 1990s and early 2000s, came crashing down after his films stopped performing well. “I have lost everything, Filmein chalna band ho gayi … aur kaam milna band ho gaya. Kitney subjects (roles) jo mujhe milne waale thei baake actor woh jakar cheen lete the…,” Deol said on FiguringOut podcast.
But is stardom really counterproductive?
Prakhyat TJ, psycholog at LimbiQ Centre for Psychiatry in Delhi, shared, “73% of arts and 68% of musicians show prevalence of mental disorders. During the phase of fame, an individual becomes highly self-aware, with frequent public appearances necessitating the need to portray a positive image of themselves that aligns with the public narrative of the individual. This public self is a mask to their true self, which has a deleterious effect on their psychology.”
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That is, an individual adapts a self-evaluative frame of mind, constantly monitoring their behaviour and evaluating their standing against that of other individuals, in relation to the standards and expectations of the industry. Constant thoughts, such as those quoted Deol, “I was your Golden Child,” and many other standards set the individual, will also contribute to the diminishing effect on the individual’s self-worth—constantly gauging oneself in comparison to peers, seeking better opportunities, and watching movies.

Resorting to alcohol
To cope with the “downfall,” many, like Bob Deol, resort to alcohol. “Alcohol was my only support system at that point…Maybe because I didn’t see the hardships that my father went through,” the actor shared remorsefully.
Bob Deol’s alcohol dependency speaks volumes about his deteriorating self-esteem, stressed the psycholog. “This heightened self-focus becomes unpleasant, and the natural reaction is to find a way to escape it. One common escape from the unpleasant feeling is alcohol.”
According to a qualitative research paper Pnina Shinebourne and Jonanthan A. Smith, “Engagement with alcohol dependency occurs in one’s life during the phases of experiencing flux, oscillation, and instability.” The psycholog added that alcohol presents in itself a sense of multitude of self, which helps them suspend their usual self, accompanied social constraints and enables them to express themselves in ways that are normally forbidden. Alcohol intake lets one experience a part of experiences and self that one deems to be ideal, the one that they have lost in their past.
Battling rejection
Some of the healthier ways to cope with loss of fame or self-worth are to indulge in acts of spiritual service and reach out to a counsellor,” suggested the psycholog. “Research in spiritual coping shows that service to others helps in moving away from self-centred dress and directs emotions towards gratitude and connection, which buffers against the feelings of inadequacy caused career setbacks or lost fame. The act of helping others boosts self-esteem.”Story continues below this ad
This offers a supportive network rooted in shared belief and positive values where individuals can process disappointment and rejection in a safe environment. Most importantly, reaching out to a counsellor helps one navigate through their emotions, thoughts and failure, concluded the psycholog.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to. Always consult your health practitioner before starting any routine.