Australia vs England media war: ‘Pathetic Pat’, ‘Whinging Poms’, Cry Ba Stokes, ‘Dim-bulb snobs picking fights with softly-spoken Muslim’

Prior to the last day of the Lord’s Test, the usual war of words that one associates with the Ashes series was largely absent. But, as Alex Carey stumped Jonny Bairstow, towards the end of the first session, the atmosphere at the ground as well as outside it changed dramatically. Ashes series are incomplete until both the English and Australia media get involved. And understandably both took moral high ground…Definitely they didn’t consider it as just another dismissal, bringing the “Spirit of Cricket” into the discussion.
The Daily Mail
The newspaper fired its guns on Pat Cummins, the Australian captain. Its writer Oliver Holt labelled Cummins as “pathetic” and claimed that he didn’t “do the right thing”.
Labelling Cummins “Pathetic Pat” he wrote, “Pat Cummins sat in his chair on the dais at the post-match press conference, grinning sheepishly like a child who has been rumbled for filching a penny from the jar,” Holt wrote. “The Australia captain did not seem to realise it, but he had won a Test match and lost his reputation.”
Cricket – Ashes – Second Test – England v Australia – Lords, London, Britain – July 2, 2023 Australia’s Pat Cummins after the match Action Images via Reuters/Peter Cziborra
Was he done? No. “Cummins and Australia reworked hory this time. They chose underhand instead of underarm,” he wrote in reference to Trevor Chappell’s infamous underarm-ball episode against New Zealand. “He did not look like a leader. He looked pathetic,” he said of Cummins.
The Telegraph
Oliver Brown said how Australia’s makeover since the Sandpaper ball-tampering gate has lost all credibility. Brown criticised Australia for killing “decorum”, as well as “codes of honour and mateship”.
Brown said that Carey might need his own security detail for the rest of the series. “For while England fans might be able to tolerate defeat, and the likelihood of a first home Ashes series defeat since 2001, they cannot forgive anyone they consider a scoundrel,” Brown wrote.
In the same newspaper, Simon Heffer also criticised Australia. “What happened was not cheating, but it was gamesmanship of a repellent degree, and entirely unworthy of a great cricketing nation such as Australia,” he wrote.
Elsewhere, The Daily Express’ headline screamed “Spirit of Cricket Reduced to Ashes”, the Mail has simply gone with ‘Disgrace!’, while The Telegraph printed ‘Ashes battle turns toxic.’
Cricket – Ashes – Second Test – England v Australia – Lords, London, Britain – July 2, 2023 Australia’s Alex Carey appeals successfully for the wicket of England’s Jonny Bairstow Action Images via Reuters/Matthew Childs
Nasser Hussain, who writes for The Daily Mail, praised Carey for being alert to the situation. “I’m not one for buying into this whole spirit of the game thing,” Hussain told the Daily Mail. “Be switched on and don’t leave your crease — it’s a lesson.”
In the Guardian, Jonathan Liew said time has come for reality to set in. “It is probably necessary to let reality impinge just a little,” he wrote. England are 2-0 down not because of cheating Aussies or insufficient ambition, but because they are playing a superior side with superior cricketers, with more tones and shades to their game.
“Australia have batted like adults. England have batted like children. Australia practise their catches. England have largely stopped practising entirely.”
What newspapers said in Australia
Before we get down to the media, the Victoria Police was the first one to go after the English. In social media posts, they noted, “We’d like to thank Jonny Bairstow for reminding everyone about the dangers of stepping over the crease before you’re given the green light.”
Among the newspapers, The Western Australian front page depicted Ben Stokes as a cry ba, accusing the “Poms of taking whingeing to new level with cheating drivel.”
The Sydney Morning Herald said “the final day of the second Ashes Test descended into chaos”. Andrew Webster wrote, “The first rule of MCC Fight Club is to know the rules of cricket…I would have thought membership to the most famous club in cricket meant you understood the laws of the game.”
Cricket – Ashes – Second Test – England v Australia – Lords, London, Britain – July 2, 2023 England’s Ben Stokes is applauded members after the match Action Images via Reuters/Peter Cziborra
Writing in the Australian, Gideon Haigh suggested “puce-faced MCC snobs should learn their own rules”. Referring to the confrontation with opener Usman Khawaja at the lunch interval, he wrote: “What could be a worse look in the week of the Equity in Cricket report than dim-bulb snobs picking fights with a placid, softly-spoken Muslim player? Chaps, pull yourselves together.”
Former Australia bowler Jason Gillespie stressed the need to ditch the confusing ‘spirit of cricket’ mantra and let the laws do the job they are designed to do. “I like the fact that the laws of the game were applied,” Gillespie said. “It’s never sat well with me that we have a ‘spirit of cricket’ philosophy that is interpreted differently from country to country. For example, next time you see an Indian player bat, observe what they do when the ball goes through to the wicketkeeper – they always look behind and to the square leg umpire to get the nod to leave the crease.
“My belief is that playing within the laws of the game you are playing within the spirit of the game.”

There were dissenting voices among the Australia press too with the Daily Telegraph saying that “Australia forever taints famous Ashes win”. Phil Rothfield wrote, “The greatest moments in Australian sport are often not about winning, but great acts of sportsmanship. This Ashes win will be remembered, but not for the right reasons.”