‘Life jeeta hai aapne hisaab se’: Arshad Warsi reveals why Akshaye Khanna ‘doesn’t care about you’; expert on psychology behind being truly unbothered | Lifestyle News

In the modern world, the idea of being genuinely unbothered what others think feels both appealing and challenging to achieve. This mindset came into focus recently after actor Arshad Warsi spoke about his former co-star, Akshaye Khanna, who has been widely praised for his performance as Rehman Dakait in Dhurandhar but has largely stayed out of the spotlight. In a conversation with Lallantop, Arshad reflected on working with Akshaye during the 2009 film Short Kut. While discussing the film’s failure and creative decisions, Arshad offered a candid description of Akshaye’s personality.
“Akshaye is a very serious guy. Actor toh voh pehle se hi acha hai, there was never a doubt about that. But voh apni hi duniya main rehta hai (he lives in his own world),” Arshad said. He went on to add, “He doesn’t care about you or anybody. Uska apna hai ki aapni zindagi hai, aap mere baarien main kya sochte ho nahi sochte ho voh meri problem nahi hai. Life jeeta hai aapne hisaab se (He believes it’s his own life, and what you think or don’t think about him is not his problem. He lives life on his own terms). He doesn’t care about this PR and stuff, right from day one. He has been like this all his life.”
Stripped of celebrity context, these statements touch on something many people aspire to: emotional independence, clear boundaries, and the ability to live without being constantly affected external opinions. 
An expert perspective helps unpack what this attitude really means and how to apply it in everyday life.
Psychological traits or coping mechanisms at play
Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherap, The Answer Room, tells , “When someone appears completely unbothered others’ opinions, several psychological dynamics may be at play. It can reflect emotional resilience, where a strong internal sense of self reduces dependence on external validation. In other cases, it may indicate emotional numbing or detachment, often developed as a coping mechanism after repeated hurt or criticism.” 

She adds that some individuals learn to stop caring as a way to protect themselves from disappointment. It may also point to avoidant patterns, where emotional dance feels safer than vulnerability. The dinction lies in flexibility; healthy resilience allows connection, while numbing often limits emotional depth.
How can individuals learn to live ‘life on their own terms’?
Living life on your own terms doesn’t mean shutting people out; it means choosing alignment over approval. Khangarot mentions, “Psychologically, this involves developing self-trust while staying emotionally open. Individuals can do this pausing before reacting to feedback, asking, ‘Is this useful or just noise?’ rather than dismissing it entirely.”Story continues below this ad
Healthy autonomy allows discomfort without defensiveness and reflection without self-blame. Emotional avoidance shows up as rigidity, whereas secure independence looks flexible and grounded. 
Daily habits or mindset shifts that can help people reduce anxiety around judgment
Reducing anxiety around judgment starts with shifting focus from impression management to internal regulation. 
“Mindfulness and journaling can expose approval-seeking patterns without shame. Reframing judgment as information rather than evaluation reduces threat perception. It’s also helpful to build tolerance for mild disapproval not correcting every misunderstanding. Over time, self-worth rooted in values and consency reduces the need for PR-like self-presentation and external validation,” concludes Khangarot.