‘For him, get a little bit more aggressive; and for her…’: Expert reflects on Twinkle Khanna’s dating and friendship advice for son Aarav and daughter Nitara | Lifestyle News

4 min readNew DelhiFeb 10, 2026 12:00 AM Conversations about parenting often shift once children enter adolescence and early adulthood, when emotional intelligence, boundaries, and self-protection become as important as academic or career guidance. During a recent promotional interview for her newly launched book Mrs Funnybones Returns, author Twinkle Khanna spoke candidly about these dilemmas while discussing her children. In an interview, she reflected on how parenting advice cannot be one-size-fits-all and must be shaped a child’s temperament and personality.
When asked for the best dating advice she had given her son, Aarav Bhatia, Twinkle described him as inherently kind. “With your children, you have to see their personalities, and you then give advice according to that. My son is a very kind person, very soft-hearted, since he was a child. Not just dating, but even with friends and other people. I had to always tell him to have his boundaries because he is so generous, that can sometimes lead other people to take advantage,” she said, highlighting a concern that resonates with many parents of empathetic children.
She also contrasted this with the advice she gives her daughter, Nitara. “With my daughter, I tell her she has to lower her boundaries. She is just 13, and she has to be a little less aggressive. So, whether it’s dating or friendship, or it’s just any relationship, that advice is pretty much the same. It’s how you have to function in the world, not only with somebody with whom you have a romantic relationship. So for him, get a little bit more aggressive and for her, get less aggressive,” she told The Print.
So, how can parents help kind, generous children develop healthy boundaries?
Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherap, The Answer Room, tells , “Kind and generous children often learn early that being ‘good’ means being accommodating. Parents can protect this kindness pairing it with boundaries.”
She continues, “Model boundaries in everyday life. Let children see you decline requests calmly and without over-explaining or guilt. Teach them to check in with their body and emotions: discomfort, anger, or exhaustion are signals that a boundary is needed. Importantly, praise assertiveness, not just compliance. When children are appreciated only for being helpful, they learn to override their own needs. Raising emotionally healthy children isn’t about reducing kindness, but about teaching them that generosity should be a choice, not an obligation.”

Risks of being overly accommodating in friendships and romantic relationships
Khangarot notes that when a person consently prioritises others’ needs over their own, resentment often builds beneath the surface. This resentment may not always be expressed outwardly but can turn inward, affecting self-worth and emotional well-being. Porous boundaries make it difficult to dinguish where others end and the self begins, leading to poor self-relationship. 
“Over time, individuals may lose touch with their own needs, wants, preferences, and even values because they are constantly adapting to keep relationships intact. This pattern increases vulnerability to manipulation, emotional exhaustion, and one-sided relationships,” notes the expert. 
How can parents tailor advice differently for children with contrasting personalities?
Children don’t need the same advice, Khangarot stresses; they need advice that fits their emotional wiring. For a highly empathetic child, parents should focus on strengthening boundaries — teaching them that empathy does not require self-sacrifice.Story continues below this ad
With more assertive children, the emphasis shifts to attunement—helping them recognise how their words and actions affect others and when to soften their approach. “The core values remain the same: respect, consent, and mutual care. What changes is the skill being strengthened,” suggests Khangarot.