‘Have a good look now’: When Harivansh Rai Bachchan recalled Amitabh and Jaya’s private wedding; why marriages are emotionally overwhelming for parents | Feelings News

Amitabh Bachchan and Jaya Bachchan’s wedding was an intimate affair, arranged quickly so they could travel to London together. While their families had no objections, they kept the ceremony private, holding it at a friend’s residence instead of Jaya’s family home. Amitabh’s father, the renowned poet Harivansh Rai Bachchan, captured the emotions of the day beautifully in his autobiography, In The Afternoon Of Time.
Providing more details, he wrote, “Jaya’s family decided not to hold the ceremony at their flat in Beach House but at a friend’s place on the top floor of the Skylark building in Malabar Hills, where it could pass off unnoticed. We sent a telegram to Jagdish Rajan to ‘come with your family immediately,’ with no indication of the reason.”
Describing his son’s appearance on his wedding day, Harivansh added, “Amit looked so splendid that his mother prayed to Hanuman to protect him from the evil eye. Before fixing the bridegroom’s veil of flowers, I said, my voice thick with emotion, that anyone wanting to see his face should have a good look now.” 
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He also reflected on Jaya’s demeanour as a bride, noting, “Jaya was in her bridal adornment, and for the first time, I saw a bashful shyness on her face and realised what a particular aspect of beauty it is. She was enough of an actress to be able to simulate shyness, but what I saw now was very natural and real.” 
These observations highlight the deeply emotional and traditional aspects of weddings. But what do they reveal about human psychology and cultural perceptions of marriage?
The persence of superstitions like the evil eye
Superstitions such as the belief in the evil eye have endured for centuries, transcending education and logic. Psycholog Anjali Gursahaney explains that their persence is deeply rooted in cultural traditions, psychological tendencies, and the emotional security they provide.
Amitabh Bachchan with his father Harivansh Rai Bachchan (Source: Express Archive Photo)
“For parents, especially during significant life events like a child’s wedding, superstitions offer a sense of control over the unknown. The belief in the evil eye stems from the idea that excessive admiration or jealousy can invite misfortune, making rituals or prayers (like Amitabh Bachchan’s mother praying to Lord Hanuman) feel like protective measures,” she says.
Psychologically, cognitive biases such as confirmation bias reinforce these beliefs. “If someone hears of a mishap following admiration, they may attribute it to the evil eye rather than coincidence. Moreover, social conditioning from childhood strengthens these beliefs, making them difficult to let go of even in adulthood,” she explains.Story continues below this ad
The emotional intensity of weddings for parents
Weddings are emotionally overwhelming for parents, marking both a joyous and bittersweet transition. Harivansh Rai Bachchan’s reflections on his son’s wedding capture this experience — where happiness is interwoven with nostalgia and a subtle sense of loss.
Gursahaney explains several psychological factors behind these emotions. A child’s marriage marks a turning point where parental roles change. While they will always be parents, their child is now forming a new primary family unit. Parents invest years into raising their children. “A wedding symbolises the culmination of that journey, bringing immense pride but also a sense of letting go.” 
After the wedding, these emotions can shape parental behaviour in different ways. “Some parents struggle with empty nest syndrome. Others may become overly involved in their child’s married life, struggling to establish boundaries. However, many eventually find joy in seeing their children build their own families,” Gursahaney explains.