‘How can I say optimic things’: Neena Gupta on why education and ambition can feel dangerous for Indian women; expert on systemic barriers they face | Lifestyle News

Neena Gupta’s thoughts in a recent conversation with YouTuber Lilly Singh on her podcast cut deep into the uncomfortable reality many women face every day. The 65-year-old actor spoke openly about the systemic struggles and everyday dangers women continue to endure. “I feel it is a curse to be born a woman, especially a poor woman. The situation is so sad, I have goosebumps,” she said, visibly emotional. Her remarks weren’t just personal reflections — they echoed the lived experiences of countless women across the country.
Gupta didn’t stop there. She highlighted the paradox many women encounter when trying to improve their lives. “They say educate women. If you educate them, they will want to do a job, and if they do a job, they are r*ped,” she said. Her dress was clear as she added, “What I want is not possible. I want them to be safe, but it’s not possible… How can I say optimic things, when I know the real situation? It’s a curse.” 
As shocking as these statements sound, they raise important questions about systemic failure, victim-blaming, and gender-based violence — questions that demand expert insight.
Systemic barriers women face even when they try to empower themselves
Clinical psycholog Raashi Gurnani tells , “Neena Gupta’s words — ‘If you educate them, they will want to do a job, and if they do a job, they are raped’ — are heartbreaking, but they reflect a very real truth. As a psycholog, I’ve seen how women, especially those from less privileged backgrounds, are made to feel unsafe simply for wanting a better life. Education, which should be a path to freedom, ends up becoming a risk.” 

She adds, “When a woman wants to step out, work, and be independent, society punishes her for it. It’s almost like saying, ‘How dare you dream?’ This fear holds women back, not because they don’t have potential but because the consequences of ambition are terrifying. It damages confidence, creates constant anxiety, and makes even basic dreams feel dangerous.”
How does poverty intensify the gender-based discrimination and violence women experience in India?
When Neena calls being a woman—especially a poor woman—a ‘curse,’ she’s expressing something that thousands of women feel but don’t say. “Poverty makes everything worse,” admits Gurnani, adding that if you’re poor and a woman, your chances of going to school, getting medical help, or even just being safe at home are far lower. 
“You’re more likely to be married off early, ignored when you’re in pain, or blamed when something terrible happens to you. This constant struggle strips women of hope and self-worth. It’s not just physical hardship — it affects their mental health deeply. She reveals that many women live in constant fear, helplessness, and sadness without even realising that it’s not normal,” she reveals. Story continues below this ad
Public trust in social systems meant to protect women
Gurnani says, “The statement, ‘I want women to be safe, but it’s not possible’ is probably the saddest part. It shows that people have given up believing that change is possible. And that’s dangerous. It means we’ve stopped trusting the police, the government, and even our communities to protect women. But here’s the thing—it can change. This hopelessness isn’t permanent. If we start teaching boys from a young age to respect women, if we hold people accountable for their actions, and if we stop blaming victims and start lening to them, things can improve. Change has to start at home, in schools, in conversations.”