IAS officer opens up about the guilt of motherhood: ‘I cry some nights, exhausted’ | Trending

IAS officer Divya Mittal is no stranger to struggle. Before cracking the country’s toughest entrance exam to become a civil servant, she also studied at the two most prestigious institutes of India – the Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) Delhi, and the Indian Institute of Management (IIM) Bangalore. IAS Divya Mittal opens up about the challenges of raising two daughters.(X/@divyamittal_IAS) Reaching these institutes and becoming a bureaucrat would have required a lot of hard work and sacrifice, but Mittal says that none of it compares to the challenge of being a mother. On the occasion of Women’s Day yesterday, she shared a thread on the challenges of raising two young girls while balancing her professional commitments. “I cry some nights” “I am an IAS officer. I have studied from IIT and IIM. I have struggled to achieve all this. But nothing could prepare me for the challenges of raising my 2 little daughters,” Divya Mittal, an IAS officer in the UP cadre, wrote on X. Mittal said that her elder daughter is eight years old. “My elder daughter is 8. Already the world tries to shut her tiny voice, when she differs with them. We can’t let them dim their light,” wrote Mittal. The IAS officer said that as a parent, her job is to teach her daughters that their voice matters, even in the face of censure. That they need to be respectful even when they disagree with someone. In a candid admission, the IAS officer confessed that she broke down at times, exhausted and stretched thin between her job and her family. At such times, her daughter’s hugs remind her that children learn from their parents. “I cry some nights—exhausted, stretched thin. But then she hugs me, says, ‘You’re my hero.’ They watch us. They learn resilience from our failures. Show her it’s okay to fall, then rise,” she wrote on X. The guilt of motherhoodAs an IAS officer, Mittal has learnt one thing from her job – that she needs to let her daughters make their own makes and learn from them. “Be her rock not her crutch. Let her fall and get up. Just show that you will be there no matter what,” she wrote. She added that motherhood is full of guilt, and mothers constantly question themselves. Her advice to such mothers? “Forgive yourself. You are enough.” She ended her piece with some more advice for mothers. For Mittal, having more than one child multiplies one’s responsibilities. In such a scenario, being just and fair is more important than being loving. “Make them understand why you are choosing what you do. This will shape their worldview,” she wrote. The IAS officer also advised mothers to give their best to whatever they do, because children learn from watching their parents. For daughters, specifically, they must learn that they don’t need to become a man to achieve greatness. “To achieve greatness, she doesn’t need to become a man. Teach her to stay true to herself. Her emotions are her asset. Teach her to use the empathy, love and kindness to make the world a better place,” Mittal advised.