Pakan reactions: From off-key ‘Dil ke armaan aansuon mein…’ of Shoaib Malik to Shoaib Akhtar’s ‘won’t even watch them if not paid money to watch on TV’ | Cricket News

The two Shoaibs, Akhtar and Malik, led the many stages of grief as Pakan plunged into semi-caricatured mourning after yet another defeat to India in an ICC tournament – this time, a 6 wicket win topped Virat Kohli’s century. While Shoaib Akhtar declared, “Had I not been paid money to sit on TV, I would have not even watched them play,”, Shoaib Malik broke into an off-key rendition of ‘Dil ke armaan aansuon mein beh gaye’, going out of tune, not because he was choking with grief, but because of his non-singing voice which is certainly nothing like Atif Aslam’s.
But it was the everyday fans who took to Twitter for pouring their hearts out on the dejection and disappointment, with one account holder falling visibly sick due to not eating and anxiety and growing disappointment, and popping pills on camera, vowing to never follow the team. He also gave hourly updates of how he couldn’t sleep and wad progressively feeling worse as the night wore on.
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Another Twitter user, conceded, “As Pakanis we should collectively apologise for ever comparing Babar to Kohli, taubah taubah yeh to Gill k bhi qareeb nahi hai,” which collected 21.8K likes. He found sympathisers among Indian respondents who besides asking him to not compare Babar to Gill, also instructed him to shoe more respect to former “real greats” Imran Khan, Saeed Anwar and even the 2017 CT winning team. “Jeez i feel like slapping myself for ever putting babar & kohli in same sentence,” he would reiterate.
Pakan’s Babar Azam, second left, and Imam-ul Haq, right, greets India’s Virat Kohli, left, and Axar Patel, second right, after India won the ICC Champions Trophy cricket match against Pakan at Dubai International Cricket Stadium, United Arab Emirates. (AP)
The prelude and epilogue to the match had seen Twitter rife with fans sarcastically thanking ICC for not scheduling the game in Pakan. One livid Lahore fan wrote, “Thanks for not playing in Lahore and embarrasing us. India toh safe rehti, main apni team ko urra deta,” he said, unforgiving of the failure.
The butt of most bitter jokes was Babar Azam, and there were multiple renditions set to Qawali of the newest couplet that’s taken off – ‘Tel lagaake Dabur ka, Naam mitaaya Babar ka..‘
But Shoaib Akhtar in multiple dark-background videos posted on his social media accounts, vented his hopelessness. From bravely saying he wasn’t disappointed because the result was inevitable, he ended the post with a resigned “Yes, I’m disappointed.”Story continues below this ad
He would later turn up at a studio and declare, “I don’t even want to talk about Pakan cricket. I don’t want to discuss these players; I have no interest in wasting my time on them. Had I not been paid money to sit on TV, I would have not even watched them play”
He had spent the day as their batting dawdled, declaring the problem wasn’t ‘intent’, but that Pakan players had no skillset in the first place. “We have clueless management, brainless captaincy and a very average team. These players know nothing about cricket honestly. You want to talk about intent? These Pakan players don’t even have the skill to play cricket,” he raged.
Pakan’s Abrar Ahmed, left, celebrates the wicket of India’s Shubman Gill, left, with his teammates during the ICC Champions Trophy cricket match between India and Pakan at Dubai International Cricket Stadium, United Arab Emirates. (AP)
Former womens captain Sana Mir declared the team was unsalvagable. “Pakan lost the Champions Trophy the day their squad was announced. With this squad even MS Dhoni or Younis Khan would have failed to win Pakan this tournament,” she said.
Akhtar rued the empty cabinets, “There’s no talent in Pakan. Can you compare Babar Azam to Virat Kohli? Can you compare Imam Ul Haq to Rohit Sharma? Can you compare Khushdil Shah to Shreyas Iyer? There’s no talent in our team. Sorry, no talent.”Story continues below this ad
Ahmad Shahzad, one of the poster boys of a previous false dawn, was draught. He said, “Pakan team had China’s superstars and Indian team had real superstars. This is the worst Pakan cricket team in hory.”
While Mohammad Amir called for people involved in the selection of this Pakan team to come forward and resign, saying, “Most players in this Pakan team have played 5-6 ICC events. This is the time to do proper surgery now,” Waqar Younis said, the surgery needed to be laser tech.
“We are way behind other teams. We need to do surgery in the team, we need new players. Laser surgery in the team is important. Select players who can play modern-day cricket and remove players who play outdated cricket,” Younis said.
Pakan players walk after their loss to India in the ICC Champions Trophy cricket match at Dubai International Cricket Stadium, United Arab Emirates, Sunday. (AP)
Rashid Latif was relatively restrained and brutally blunt: “Team India has no match with Pakan cricket team, you cannot compare them anymore. The reality is India is far, far ahead of us. We cannot beat teams like India.”Story continues below this ad
Wasim Akram, ever the optim, called for the cliched overhaul, throwing up new names. “It is now time to get rid of these players, they have been losing us ICC events for the last few years. PCB needs to take a bold step and remove these players, it is embarrasing. Pakan’s team needs new players,” he said.
Babar being lumped with the King’s crown without winning anything seemed to be angering the former players. Mohammad Hafeez said “Babar Azam has been playing for 10 years. Show me his Player of the Match award against India. Show me one award that he won in the matches he played against India.”
Shoaib Malik, who has a century against India, said it was a Hollywood get carried away rankings: “We celebrated Babar Azam’s No. 1 ranking in ODI cricket. But what did he win for Pakan with that ranking? We should have celebrated match-winning performances for Pakan and not individual rankings.”
Pakan’s captain Mohammad Rizwan, centre, tosses the coin, as India’s captain Rohit Sharma, right, looks on before the start of ICC Champions Trophy cricket match between India and Pakan at Dubai International Cricket Stadium, United Arab Emirates, Sunday, Feb. 23, 2025. (AP Photo/Altaf Qadri)
Hafeez said Babar’s failures against India were vivid. “Babar Azam is not a match-winner like Inzamam Ul Haq. Inzamam used to win matches for Pakan in difficult situations. Babar has never won Pakan a single match against India. Has he ever won Player of the Series award in SENA? Has he won any match for Pakan in Australia? We need to move on and give opportunities to other players. We need to choose players who can win us ICC events,” he said. Story continues below this ad
He was also confused about why Imam ul Haq was recalled. “Imam Ul Haq was removed from the team because of his low strike-rate. He came back into the team, scored 10 runs off 26 balls at strike-rate of 38,” he ranted.
While Pakan losses aren’t particularly new, and India are hardly made to sweat in these duels, the gulf between the two sides threw up the unlikeliest of admissions of failure, where the Indian team wasn’t even the object of their hate: Pakan cricket was. They found surprising empaths in Indian fans, those who showed sense to not gloat. Some even regered the exence of wonder-spinner, Abrar, his dream delivery and SMH-inducing send-off.
And just like that the new Indo-Pak, Gill vs Abrar rivalry was born.