Neha Dhupia accepts Bollywood has changed, reveals how she was offered 1st film: ‘Isme Ajay Devgn hai, aapko Maldives jaana hai’
Neha Dhupia says that marriage and birth of her children have changed her life. The actor, who will be seen in the upcoming crime-drama A Thursday, is happy juggling life and career as she shares responsibilities with husband Angad Bedi. The couple has two children — daughter Mehr and son Guriq. The actor says whether it is decisions about their children or responsibilities, she and Angad share everything ’50-50′.
“Children have changed my life completely. There are these two human beings who are fully dependent on you and your husband. It’s almost like we are living in this magnetic field where we’re so attached to each other,” Neha told indianexpress.com.
She says when it comes to her personal life, she does not relate herself to her character ACP Catherine Alvarez, who is a strong-headed police officer. However, as a professional, Neha tags herself as an independent woman who has always let her gut guide her when it comes to her career choices.
“I think creatively and logically. I’m like – what is this project going to get me – and depending on that, I make the decision,” she said, admitting that her children also influence her work now. “In a strange way, my children also help me make a career choice because I look at them and I’m like, ‘Is the job that’s being offered to me is so good that I can leave them at home and go,?’ You can say my standards are high now.”
The actor says it was her parents who gave her the strength to make independent choices. “When my dad sent me from Delhi to Mumbai, the only thing he told me was — ‘Always have your head between your shoulders.’ And I think, I pretty much did. Other thing my mom told me was, ‘Whatever happens, happens for a reason, and the reason is always good.’ They were like ‘Humein kabhi phone mat karna agar koi film hit ya flop hojaye kyunki humein koi farq nahi padta. Our daughter is ours. We love you. Your film is a hit or a flop, doesn’t matter. Your safety, your health – those things are important to us. So, call us for that.’ I’ve always had my parent’s support. They’ve been like my backbone. I can’t do anything without them. And now, I have my family, which has grown in such a beautiful way,” she expressed.
Neha’s son Guriq is around 4-months-old and her daughter Mehr is 3-year-old. Calling Mehr “very cute,” Neha recalled her daughter’s days on A Thursday’s sets. “She came on A Thursday’s set and sat inside my vanity van. For the next two days, she was like, ‘I want to go to mama’s office.’ She thought my office is full of fun people, makeup, brushes. That’s her level of understanding. Once she sees that I am sitting in front of the ring light and doing interviews, she would be like ‘Oh, mumma has gone to the moon.’ This is when she was 2.5 year old. But now she is a little older. She knows that once the light is on, she has to be quiet,” Neha smiled and added that Mehr is “a smart, intuitive, emotional girl.”
“Her EQ and IQ is very high. I was having this chat with her last night that I am going to be away for A Thursday promotions, so what is she going to do in my absence. She said, ‘I’ll play, I’ll go to the park and wait for Mama.’ When I asked if she will look after her ba brother, she was like, ‘Yes.’ So, the kids get it,” she said.
“My only advice (to new parents) is that even if you spend very little time with your children, make sure that the time is focused. And I feel like young working independent parents raise smart independent children. So, they see us and they learn from what we’re doing and they know that a large part of is for them,” she continued.
Coming back to A Thursday and the character she plays in the film, Neha revealed that when she was offered the film, she was not pregnant. And the time the shoot started, she was in her second trimester. Remembering the conversation with the filmmakers, Neha said husband Angad Bedi’s support during that phase meant everything to her.
“I was hired for the job when I was not pregnant. So, when you go back to the director to inform him that the time we begin shooting, I will be six months pregnant, it is a tough meeting. I think my biggest support was my husband who sat with me in the meeting and was like, ‘If it goes well. It’ll be a great moment to be a part of.’ But he also said that he will be there for me even if the conversation takes another direction where they say that this is not something that we’re looking for.”
But Neha is also thankful to the makers who were quite kicked to have her on board. “Be it Behzad Kambata or Ronnie Screwala, everybody was so supportive. These bunch of boys were like- ‘It doesn’t matter if you’re pregnant. It’s not like cops are not pregnant. We are going to work with you no matter what.’ So, that was huge,” Neha said, adding that during that period, everyone in her family pitched in to help out. “So, I made this call to my mom and I said I’m going to be away for like 15-20 days in August. I told her that while I am going to be in Mumbai, I’ll technically will not be with my kids. My parents flew in. So, everybody fills in, everyone has a part to play. Sometimes, me and Angad both have promotions or work in different places, but we figure it out.”
Looking back at her experience of shooting A Thursday, Neha said she “just feels great” that the industry is moving forward and beyond the typical representation of a female actor. “If not now, then when?” she said, adding that she feels blessed about being a part of all the trends and changes the industry has gone through over the years. “I am blessed because when I wanted to do mainstream commercial cinema. When I wanted to do films like Mithya, Ek Chalis Ki Last Local or Phass Gaye Re Obama, those were doing well. And now I am part of films that are backed or padded up with women, which is so great. Plus, today, age, size and all those things are not like the career ending stamps anymore. And that’s what makes it better. Just so glad the industry is moving forward with the times.”
While Neha has no regrets about her journey, she feels the newer lot of actors are very well prepared and have easy access to people. “The younger generation is so well prepared, which I don’t think I was. I remember how I was offered my first film. I was just told – ‘Yeh film hai, aapko Maldives jaana hai. Ajay Devgn hai iss film mein.’ Like literally, that’s how I was briefed. And then, boom! Overnight, people know you as ‘Qayamat ki heroine.’ But now, today’s generation has support from an army of people. I had like 2-3 films to choose for my debut. I was like – ‘accha isme two heroines hai aur isme ek hi hai. Chalo doosra choose karte hai.’
“Also, today, people are accessible. You have an idea or guidance on who to meet. You follow people’s path and journey on social media, which I wish was around during my time. But apart from that, my journey has been such a hustle. And if I ever had to sit back and think, I genuinely have no regrets. I feel like everything has been working in my favour. I’m a new mom, I am working, everyone’s healthy and fine, and I’m literally married to my best friend. So, films coming or going, getting supporting or main lead, nothing matters in the long run. What will matter is the values you give to your children as a parent, the name and respect you earned for yourself as an actor.”
But what she wants her kids to learn from her journey? “Very early in my life or in my career, I decided I’m going to be myself. And that’s the lesson I’m trying to teach even my children. Whatever you do, be yourself. Don’t shy away from who you are. But you should know where to draw the line. You should know what your limits are. And most importantly, you should know when to say no,” Neha replied, adding that the very first word she taught Mehr was ‘Bass’ (stop).
“Literally, the first word I taught my daughter was ‘bass.’ She is three and she says, ‘Bass, I don’t want to eat anymore’ or ‘Bass, I don’t want to study anymore.’ The other day someone was playing with her. After a point, she said ‘bass.’ So, she knew where to draw the line and those are the children I want to raise,” Neha concluded.
