Orry says he doesn’t ‘believe in sex before marriage’; psycholog explains why some people feel this way | Feelings News

Internet personality Orry recently revealed that he does not believe in having sex before marriage. The secret came out when he was asked whether he’d call himself ‘Modern Osho’, the contemporary version of the popular guru who was known for his unapologetically liberal views on sex. “Do whatever you want… I am not judging, or maybe I am. But I personally don’t believe in sex before marriage… People don’t realise this about me, but I am actually very conservative,” he said on Indian Express’ The Suvir Saran Show.The statement stirred netizens, with the internet divided between opposing views. But why are some people so firm with the idea of having sex only with their spouse, while others don’t mind? More importantly, does the decision have an actual impact on married life? Curious, we reached out to a relationship expert as well as a gynaecolog to settle this debate once and for all.
Why do some people choose not to have sex before marriage?
The decision to abstain from sex before marriage is often a mix of personal values, religious beliefs, cultural expectations, and emotional safety. “For many, sex isn’t just a physical act—it’s deeply emotional and vulnerable,” explains Dr Nishmita J, Consultant Psychiatr and Relationship Expert at Cadabams Hospitals. People might want to ensure emotional security and commitment before engaging in something so intimate.
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Others might see waiting as a means of developing trust, communication, and friendship first. Additionally, religious or cultural values also play a role. “Some also fear the emotional consequences of casual intimacy—especially if they’ve been hurt before,” she further points out. According to the psycholog, it’s not just about waiting but the intentionality behind it.
From a sexual health perspective, what are the pros and cons of waiting and not having sex before marriage?
It has both pros and cons, according to Dr Gaana Sreenivas, Obstetrician & Gynaecolog at Bone and Birth Clinic and Rainbow Hospital, Bannerghatta Road. “It eliminates the risk of sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancies, and allows couples to build emotional intimacy without physical complexities.”
However, she cautions that it also lead to couples entering the relationship with limited sexual experience or awareness of their own preferences and boundaries. “This may sometimes lead to challenges in sexual communication or compatibility, which are important aspects of a healthy marital relationship. Comprehensive pre-marital counseling and open discussions about sexual health can help bridge these gaps, ensuring that both partners begin their journey with clarity, trust, and informed consent,” she told .
If one partner believes in abstinence before marriage and the other one does not, it can lead to frustration, guilt, or resentment, on both sides
What if one partner believes in waiting and the other doesn’t?
Dr Nishmita J admis that it is a tricky situation. “It can stir up frustration, guilt, or resentment, on both sides,” the psychiatr explains. She cautions that if the topic is unspoken,  it can create a silent wedge between the two.Story continues below this ad
If the couple openly discusses, she says, it can become a gateway to deeper understanding. Some important questions to discuss include: Why does one want to wait? What does sex mean to the other? Is it about love, connection, security, or simply physical need? “It’s not about one person being right and the other wrong—it’s about alignment and mutual respect. No relationship thrives if one partner’s needs are chronically suppressed.”
Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropolog, has a similar opinion and states that when couples communicate honestly about these values, even if they disagree, they’re more likely to find respectful middle ground—or part ways amicably if core values clash.

 
Can a relationship stay strong without physical intimacy?
“Absolutely—but with a few caveats,” say Dr Nishmita J, who believes that every relationship has its own blueprint. For some couples—especially in long-dance, asexual, or older relationships—emotional intimacy, shared goals, and deep companionship are more than enough. But for others, physical intimacy is a primary way of expressing love, reassurance, or passion.
“In those cases, a lack of sex can lead to disconnect, frustration, or insecurity—not because sex is everything, but because touch is a language,” she clarifies. In fact, studies have also confirmed that physical affection, including cuddling and hugs, boosts relationship satisfaction and emotional resilience. Oxytocin, released through physical touch, strengthens bonding and reduces stress.  “So yes, a relationship can stay strong without sex, but only if both partners are on the same page. Intimacy doesn’t always have to mean intercourse, but it must be meaningful to both.”Story continues below this ad

Does waiting until marriage make relationships more stable or more difficult later?
“It depends—on why you waited and how you navigate intimacy afterward,” experts clarify. Couples who wait often develop strong communication and emotional connection because they’ve had to invest in other aspects of the relationship first. But there can be challenges too. However, if the couple hasn’t talked openly about sexual expectations, desires, or boundaries, the “wedding night may bring pressure, awkwardness, or unmet expectations”
This is especially true if sex was viewed as taboo, sinful, or something to avoid rather than eventually embrace, she further points out. The expert advises that the key to a stable relationship, in this context, is education, conversation, and mutual openness. “Waiting until marriage doesn’t guarantee success—but neither does early sex. What truly matters is whether partners feel heard, respected, and connected—both emotionally and physically,” she concludes.