Sharmila Tagore Reveals Marriage Lessons From Tiger Pataudi: ‘Words Can Be Very Vicious’

4 min readNew DelhiJul 24, 2026 02:59 PM Sharmila Tagore has often spoken candidly about her marriage to the late Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi, fondly known as Tiger Pataudi. In a recent conversation with Barkha Dutt, the veteran actor reflected on the early years of their relationship, revealing that they chose to live together before marriage because it simply made practical sense. “We lived together before getting married because it was more convenient. Tiger would often go to the Cricket Club of India to shower because I was a terrible housekeeper. Nothing worked properly at home,” she said with a laugh. Looking back, she admitted, “I was a terrible housekeeper. I’ve learnt over the years. Now I’m very house-proud.”
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
The couple, who married in 1968 after several years of dating despite facing opposition and even death threats over their interfaith marriage, shared a relationship that lasted 43 years. Reflecting on what made their marriage endure in an earlier conversation with Tweak India, Sharmila said some of her greatest lessons came simply observing her husband. “I was quite temperamental in those days, but I learnt a lot from Tiger. He was an extremely kind person. He would always say, ‘With dogs, with staff and with children, you must never raise your voice.’” She added, “He never really scolded me or put me down. Just being there, he taught me patience and understanding.” One piece of advice, in particular, stayed with her throughout their marriage: “Words can be very vicious. Once spoken, you can’t take them back. You can be angry, you can disagree, but you shouldn’t say things that hurt each other because those words stay forever.” She has also previously shared that she knew he was the person she wanted to marry because of his sense of humour and because she instinctively felt “this man won’t hurt me on purpose.”
While every relationship is different, Sharmila’s reflections touch on themes many couples can relate to — learning from one another.
Accepting imperfections in long-term relationships
Dr Sakshi Mandhyan, psycholog and founder at Mandhyan Care, tells , “Acceptance is one of the least understood aspects of long-term relationships. It does not mean agreeing with everything or tolerating unhealthy behaviour. It means recognising that every individual comes with strengths, limitations, habits, and emotional hories.”
In my work with couples, she says that she has found that people are far more willing to grow when they feel accepted rather than constantly corrected. “Many relationships become strained because partners spend years trying to reshape each other into an ideal version. Psychologically, acceptance creates emotional safety. Emotional safety allows people to be authentic, vulnerable, and also open to change.”
Patience is equally important because growth does not usually happen at the same pace for both partners.Story continues below this ad
Mutual respect helps couples hold differences without contempt or power struggles. “Most long-lasting couples I have worked with are not free of differences. What stands out is that they have learnt how to live with these variations without losing respect for each other,” notes Dr Mandhyan.

Is this healthy conflict or hurtful communication?
Click each situation to see which approach helps protect trust during disagreements.

Reacting immediately when emotions are high
❌ Strong emotions often make people say things they later regret. Taking a short pause before continuing the conversation can prevent lasting emotional damage.

Talking about your own feelings instead of making accusations
✅ Saying ‘I felt hurt when…’ is usually more constructive than ‘You always…’ because it focuses on your experience rather than attacking your partner.Story continues below this ad

Using a partner’s insecurities during an argument
❌ Comments that target a partner’s vulnerabilities can damage emotional safety and may leave emotional scars long after the argument ends.

Key takeaway
Healthy couples don’t avoid disagreements—they communicate with respect. Anger can coex with kindness when both partners protect each other’s dignity, even during conflict.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.