‘Mujhe toh 4-5 bache chahiye the but he was not ready’: Mahhi Vij on failed IVF attempts and Jay Bhanushali not wanting kids initially | Life-style News

Deciding to have a child is one of the most significant choices in a relationship — but what happens when both partners aren’t on the same page? 
Actor Mahhi Vij recently revealed that while she was ready for motherhood early on and even started her IVF journey at 32, her husband, Jay Bhanushali, wasn’t initially ready to have children after their marriage. This difference in timelines led her to take proactive steps like egg freezing, but despite her efforts, her IVF attempts were unsuccessful.
In conversation with Debina Bonnerjee on her podcast, Vij said, “Mere saath aisa hai ki agar nahi ho raha hai toh chapter close karo, aage badho. Uspe sulk karne se acha next chapter pe jao, jo hai IVF. I started my IVF journey at the age of 32, toh maine apne eggs save karne start kar diye the. Mera toh aisa tha meri jab shaadi hui thi tab hi maine Jai ko bola tha I want a ba. Mujhe toh actually 4-5 bache chahiye the but he was not ready for it. And then I said I am going to save my eggs, maine apne eggs save kiye and maine try bhi kiya tha but do baar IVF fail ho gaya… aur eggs bhi khatam ho gaye the.” 
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When asked how many times she had to undergo the egg retrieval procedure, she replied, “Maine do baar kiya tha egg retrieval, I went through a lot of pain. Matlab, ek time pe toh main admit bhi hui thi ek dinn ke liye because mujhe bahut bleeding ho rahi thi. Fir wapas se jo third wala kiya, maine kaha ab main try nahi karungi main save kar ke rakhungi. I was like, ab rukk jaate hain. Main humesha bolti hu jab time hai jiska aur jiski kismat jo likha hai woh hona hi hai. Agar 45 mein bhi hona ho toh ho jayega. Then I tried when I was 36, kahi na kahi mujhe tha ki yeh positive aayega, aur positive aaya toh I was like, I was just crying.”

How can couples navigate different timelines for starting a family?
Dr R Uthra, consultant obstetrics and gynaecology at DHEE Hospitals, tells , “Key strategies to navigate differences in family planning start with open and honest communication. Research from The Journal of Family Psychology (2021) suggests that couples who openly discuss major life decisions experience lower stress and stronger emotional bonds. Expressing concerns without judgment fosters understanding and prevents resentment from building up. Additionally, identifying the root cause of hesitation — whether it’s financial stability, career aspirations, or emotional readiness — can help partners find common ground and work through their differences.”
Compromise and planning together also play a crucial role, the doctor adds. “A Harvard Medical School study (2020) found that couples who create a shared vision for their future, even if they start with different perspectives, experience greater relationship satisfaction.” Seeking professional counselling can further bridge gaps in differing family planning desires. Relationship counselors can facilitate constructive discussions and provide strategies to help couples reach a mutually fulfilling decision.
Coping mechanisms for individuals dealing with failed IVF attempts
The emotional toll of failed IVF cycles can be overwhelming, notes Dr Uthra, often leading to grief, anxiety, and depression. “Studies suggest that individuals undergoing fertility treatments experience stress levels comparable to those facing life-threatening conditions (Human Reproduction Update, 2022).” 
Coping mechanisms such as acknowledging grief, seeking support groups, and embracing mind-body approaches like yoga and meditation can help manage emotional dress. Understanding the treatment process beforehand allows couples to set realic expectations and better cope with setbacks. Additionally, some find hope exploring alternative family-building options like adoption or surrogacy, offering new possibilities for parenthood.Story continues below this ad
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to. Always consult your health practitioner before starting any routine.