‘Still cry when I think about it and feel guilty’: When Madhu Chopra said her decision to send daughter Priyanka to boarding school haunts her even today | Life-style News

Parenting is filled with difficult decisions, some of which leave a lasting impact on both the parent and child. In an old interview, Madhu Chopra opened up about one such choice — sending her daughter, Priyanka Chopra, to boarding school at the age of seven.
Looking back, she admitted to feeling deep regret over this decision. “I still cry when I think about it and I still feel guilty. My fault was that I sent her to a boarding school. Not the best decision of my life,” she said in a conversation with India Today.
In another interview with Bollywood Hungama, Madhu had revealed that she sent Priyanka to a boarding school without the approval of her husband. “When she was seven, I put her in a boarding school without my husband’s approval, without my family’s approval. I didn’t counsel Priyanka either. Those four years were very tough.”
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Despite her past regrets, Madhu said that she took pride in watching Priyanka raise her daughter, Malti, with strength and independence. Calling Priyanka a “fearless” mother, she shared, “She’s giving her ba a lot of freedom to be her own person.” Madhu also offered her daughter one piece of parenting advice: “Not to ever skew the word no. Explain to her, she’ll understand. Don’t just say no.” 
So, how does being sent to boarding school at a young age impact a child?
Licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherap Sonal Khangarot explains that one of the most significant changes is the disruption of attachment to primary caregivers. “This sudden detachment from family can cause feelings of abandonment or rejection. Without a strong support system, children might struggle with trust issues or find it difficult to express vulnerability later in life,” she says.
On the other hand, boarding school environments often foster independence. Children learn to navigate challenges without parental intervention, which can lead to resilience and adaptability in adulthood. “They become self-sufficient at an accelerated rate, which can be a valuable life skill,” Khangarot adds.

Peer relationships also play a crucial role in shaping a child’s emotional landscape. “In the absence of family, friendships take on heightened significance. While this can foster strong social skills, it may also create emotional dependencies that impact future relationships,” she notes. Ultimately, whether a child thrives or struggles in a boarding school environment depends on their temperament and the emotional support they receive both at school and from their family.
Coping with parental guilt over past decisions
Parents often experience guilt when reflecting on past decisions, especially those made with good intentions that may have had unintended consequences. Khangarot suggests several healthy ways to cope with this guilt:Story continues below this ad
– Acknowledge and Accept Feelings: Recognising that past choices were made with the best knowledge and intentions at the time can be a helpful step toward self-compassion.
– Open Communication with the Child: If possible, discussing these feelings with the child can foster healing. Understanding their perspective can help alleviate guilt and strengthen the parent-child bond.
– Shift Focus to the Present and Future: Parents can’t change the past, but they can focus on making positive contributions to their child’s life now, reinforcing emotional support and availability.
– Seek Support: Talking to other parents, a therap, or support groups can provide reassurance and different perspectives on past decisions.