Twinkle Khanna suggests ways to get rid of pesky husband, endorses ‘The Ultimate Bryan Johnson Test’ over murderous rage | Bollywood News
Actor-turned-column Twinkle Khanna has invoked Bryan Johnson amid a spate of cases where women were arrested for murdering their husbands in India. In the latest edition of her column Mrs Funnybones, Twinkle agreed that marriage can be stifling so she led ways of escaping it, routes far less tedious than murder and legal battle.
The last option on that l was “The Ultimate Bryan Johnson Test.” For the uninitiated, Bryan is a 47-year-old American entrepreneur who has devoted all his money and life into reversing the biological process of ageing and advocating the same to his followers. Twinkle suggested that all wives willing to dump their husbands must keep comparing them to the phenomenon of Bryan Johnson.
For instance, if the husband forgets the wife’s birthday, she must rub it in that if she were married to Bryan, he’d have never forgotten her birthday because he’d be tracking her ageing on his device. Similarly, if the husband inss on eating rajma cooked his mother, the wife must remind him that if she were married to Bryan, they’d be eating a far healthier and sustainable meal — vegetable and nut paste.
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Twinkle even suggested a solution to snoring husbands — reminding them that Bryan Johnson instead sleeps alone with an electrode fixed to his penis. He even schedules his sex and enters most of his erections as data points in his spreadsheets. She also suggested wives raise Bryan’s favourite topic of “mitochondrial fraying” whenever the husband decides to yap about subjects like cricket.
Beyond Bryan Johnson, other options that Twinkle ls in her column include “The Tedious Hob Method” (signing up for annoying hobbies like playing a saxophone or joining a religious cult), “Push Mummy Ji Strategy” (creating miscommunication between the husband and his mother to the extent that she guilt-trips him into moving in with her), “My Patented Psycho Method” (to respond to every mundane question with an answer either psychological or philosophical), and “The Glycerine Protocol” (crying at the drop of a hat, including when being blamed for being oversensitive).
Twinkle Khanna tied the knot with co-star Akshay Kumar in 2001. While she quit acting in films soon after, he continues to be one of the leading stars in Hindi cinema today. They have two kids — son Aarav and daughter Nitara. Twinkle is now also an author, column, and entrepreneur.
