‘Evolve hone ka matlab ye thodi hai ki 3–4 rishte bana lein’: Actor Pankaj Tripathi shares views on open relationships | Feelings News

During a promotional interview for Metro In Dino, actor Pankaj Tripathi said, “Relationship aur bank account open kaise reh sakte hein, OTP kisi aur ko de dogey? Evolve hone ka matlab ye thodi hai ki 3–4 rishte bana le.” His comments, emphasising commitment, quickly resonated with people, with many questioning whether being in open relationships is really the same as being emotionally mature.
To explore the psychology behind this topic, we spoke with Dr Pavitra Shankar, Associate Consultant in Psychiatry at Aakash Healthcare, who explained why some couples try open relationships, what risks they might miss, and why emotional clarity, not trends, should guide relationship decisions.
Why do some people see open relationships as a sign of “evolving” emotionally?
According to Dr Shankar, many people associate open relationships with being modern, progressive, or emotionally advanced because contemporary discourse often frames flexibility as a mark of evolution. However, she stresses that emotional readiness varies widely—and openness is not universally helpful.
True evolution, she explains, comes from self-awareness and honest communication, not from adopting a relationship style that doesn’t align with one’s values.
Couples need to reflect on their attachment styles, relationship hory, and emotional bandwidth. Only then can they decide whether openness nurtures their bond or whether they actually need exclusivity to feel safe and connected. “Cross-talk and transparent discussions,” she notes, give partners clarity about what will or will not work for them.
How can couples set boundaries so ‘openness’ doesn’t turn into secrecy?
Dr Shankar emphasises that boundaries are the backbone of any non-traditional relationship. This requires explicit conversations about what is acceptable, what feels unsafe, and how partners should respond if feelings evolve.
She suggests defining:

Emotional and physical limits
Frequency of interactions with others
Disclosure expectations

According to her, values such as honesty, accountability, and emotional integrity are essential—otherwise, openness can quickly slip into secrecy, resentment, or emotional harm. Boundaries only work when both partners commit to upholding them consently.

When is a couple choosing openness for the wrong reasons?
Open relationships can be healthy when mutually chosen—but Dr Shankar warns of several red flags that signal the decision is driven pressure, insecurity, or avoidance rather than compatibility.
These include:Story continues below this ad

One partner reluctantly agrees to avoid conflict.
Choosing openness because “everyone else is doing it”
Using it to escape boredom or deeper emotional work
Avoiding commitment or masking insecurity
Entering the arrangement without clear expectations or coping strategies

Such motivations, she says, are destabilising and often lead to long-term emotional dissatisfaction. When openness becomes a response to internal conflict rather than a conscious, shared decision, the emotional fallout can be significant.
How should someone communicate discomfort when their partner suggests an open relationship?
Dr Shankar highlights that discomfort must be expressed calmly, honestly, and without blame. Using “I feel…” statements instead of accusations helps preserve trust.
She advises:

Speak from vulnerability—fear of loss, need for security, emotional overwhelm
Len empathetically to the partner’s perspective.
Discuss boundaries, expectations, and emotional needs openly and honestly.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.