‘One has to accept the situation’: When Hema Malini opened up about living away from Dharmendra; how unconventional marriages builds emotional resilience | Feelings News

Hema Malini and Dharmendra have completed 45 years since their wedding ceremony this year. Their decades-long relationship has stood out not just for its longevity but also for its unconventional dynamic. 
Dharmendra, who was already married to Prakash Kaur and had four children with her, continued to live with his first family even after marrying Hema. Despite the physical dance, Hema has often spoken about being content with her life and the way things unfolded. 
In an earlier interview with Lehren, Hema spoke about their unusual living arrangement and her emotional acceptance of it. “I am not feeling bad about it, or sulking about it. I am happy with myself. I have my two children, and I have brought them up very well. Of course, he (Dharmendra) was there, always. Everywhere.” While acknowledging that “no one likes staying away from their spouse,” she added that “sometimes in life, circumstances are such that one has to accept the situation.” She also reflected that although every woman desires a complete family, “sometimes the situation is such that things pan out differently,” and she is proud of the life she built with her daughters, Esha and Ahana.
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But, how do some individuals find peace and fulfillment in relationships that don’t fit conventional models of marriage or cohabitation?
Counselling psycholog Athul Raj tells , “As a psycholog, I often witness how real contentment doesn’t always stem from traditional structures. Many people come to understand that proximity doesn’t equal intimacy, and dance doesn’t always mean absence of love. What Hema says reflects a quiet inner evolution — choosing presence with oneself over longing for what might never be.” 

People often find peace when they stop forcing life to match an ideal and start living what’s real. Fulfillment, in these cases, isn’t loud — it’s the calm that comes from knowing who you are, from accepting your story, and from no longer needing your relationship to mirror society’s script in order to feel whole.
How can acceptance of complex family dynamics contribute to emotional resilience?
“This kind of acceptance is layered,” Raj says, adding that It’s not about pretending something doesn’t hurt—it’s about making room for both the pain and the practicality. “In therapy, I’ve seen how emotional resilience begins the moment people stop fighting with their reality. Not because they’ve given up, but because they’ve chosen to live with clarity.” 
Hema’s words carry the weight of someone who has stopped explaining her life to others. She knows the circumstances, has lived them, and still chooses peace over resentment. That kind of acceptance protects mental health—it softens resance, reduces emotional exhaustion, and brings back a sense of agency, even when life isn’t ideal.
What role does self-reliance play in maintaining personal identity and strength within non-traditional marriages?
Self-reliance isn’t just practical — it’s deeply psychological. Raj notes that in non-traditional marriages, especially those where emotional or physical support is limited, “self-reliance becomes the thread that holds everything together.” And it’s not built overnight — it’s shaped through repeated moments of showing up when no one else does. Story continues below this ad
Women like Hema find their identity not just in who they love, but in who they’ve had to become in order to carry their families forward. “That pride in raising children alone isn’t arrogance — it’s acknowledgment. It’s saying: I didn’t just survive this life — I shaped it. And in doing so, I never lost myself. That’s real strength. And it often goes unseen until someone says it out loud,” concludes the expert.