‘Self-love is a long process, comes with unlearning a lot of things’: Kusha Kapila

There is a lot of talk nowadays of self-love. You often hear people say we should love ourselves more and not get affected other’s opinions. But that is easier said than done. Self love doesn’t mean you feel positive all the time. On a very basic level it, it would simply mean respecting your thoughts and feelings.
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In a talk with comedian/podcaster Surbhi Bagga on her YouTube channel, content creator and popular internet sensation Kusha Kapila spoke about the journey of self-love.

She said cultivating sensitivity is not a common practice in our society. “We could feel great about ourselves, but the next moment, somebody will come and casually pass a remark about your weight or appearance as is the case with so many Indian families, which in turn affects you a great deal.”Best of Express PremiumPremiumPremiumPremiumPremium
“It’s very easy [to not] get affected. Love yourself and it doesn’t matter what they say, haters are going to hate… But it’s not easy, because you will go back with those thoughts before you sleep and replay everything and end up overthinking,” she said.
Kusha talked about how for the first 20 years of her life she viewed herself pretty much how the people surrounding her did.

The first step, she said, towards loving yourself is to pause and take out time for yourself. “It is so funny that despite being surrounded so many people, as a child I felt so alone and confused.”
Spending time with our own selves helps us understand what we want and who we are individually.
The second step, she said, is to lower expectations. “As someone who was very sure of my capabilities in school, for the next five years, I was doing whatever I wanted to do which made me anxious.”
“But, I said it’s okay! I am going to have least expectations from myself. I scored a nice job and found my calling at the age of 28. I wouldn’t change it for anything,” she said.
Kusha also talked about the importance of triadic thinking, something she learnt about in a TED women’s conference. “If you make a triangle — mark the top part as something you want the most and the other two points as something you want the least.
“Divide the triangle further into smaller ones and write how you can achieve that in practical manner. It helps provide clarity and knowing what you want immediately”.
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