How you should cope with divorce and move forward

Divorce is not just about the loss of a relationship, it’s also often accompanied difficult legal battles, financial uncertainties, changes in social dynamics and challenges of custody and co-parenting. It’s also about the loss of an imagined future. One of the most significant events that can change the trajectory of our lives, it’s only natural to experience sadness, anger, disbelief, fear, and so much more.
1) It is not your failure: The first thing one needs to remember when dealing with divorce is to remember that it is not a “failure” or an indicator of your value as a human being. There are various reasons for marriages ending, which can include differences in compatibility, in expectations, in communication, or in commitment. Feeling guilty, or for that matter, placing the blame on the other person may not be helpful in the long run.
2) Be kind to yourself: And so, at a difficult time like this, it’s important to be kind to our own selves. Give yourself some time to mourn and then to adapt. None of us ever goes into a marriage expecting it to end, or can be prepared for how that end can make us feel. Feeling a range of intense sweeping emotions is normal in a situation like this. Crying, getting angry or at times feeling afraid don’t mean that you can’t cope with what lies ahead. All it needs is to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. Put away belongings, photographs and other things that may remind you of your former partner – doing so can help you accept the transition and move on faster.
3) Do not fear societal judgment: A significant fear during divorce is what others will say about us, and how this experience will shape our identity. Don’t let yourself be defined society’s labels and expectations, or be bound any stereotypes. Make sure to lean on your support systems – close friends and family who can be there for you through this time. Avoid spending too much time alone initially. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, whether emotional or practical, when you need it. Instead, spend quality time with your loved ones, share your thoughts and feelings, and at times, try to dract yourself having fun and engaging in conversation outside of the divorce or the future as well. If there’s a child involved, support them through the journey. Have honest conversations and take time out to re-establish their sense of security.
4) Take care of yourself: Most of all, in this journey it’s important to take care of yourself, and gradually build yourself back. Ensure that you eat healthy, get some physical exercise and enough sleep. Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance use or comfort eating. Use this time as an opportunity to get to know yourself better, the aspects of yourself you weren’t able to nurture before. It could be a new professional endeavour, cultivating a hob or investing in previously neglected relationships. Remember that an unhappy marriage can be more detrimental to our well-being than being separated. While a divorce may be the end of a relationship, it can also be the start of many new things.
5) Develop your interests that you have ignored: Reconnect with things you enjoy and somehow couldn’t pursue in your marital life. This kind of pursuit helps you focus on yourself and builds self-confidence. Look for interests and activities you pursued before as they can restore your sense of familiarity.