How to control your panic button?

We all have our own vulnerabilities, things that trigger us or situations that push us to react in ways that we otherwise wouldn’t. These reactions can range from fear and anxiety to anger, hostility and feelings of helplessness or despair.
A visited me a few weeks back, facing difficulties at work. A was a high-performing professional, almost always getting accolades and appreciation for the work done. However, this time around A received a negative comment from the manager for not performing up to the mark. What followed was that A took a week off from work, feeling unwell. Even after resuming work, A was not able to perform in the same manner, kept avoiding work and making makes, and began feeling increasingly stressed at work.
B was a patient who came to me with complaints of bouts of anger while driving. B was otherwise calm and collected and didn’t get angry often. However, every now and again, when confronted a situation where he was cut off another car or got into a minor accident, he would experience a bout of anger which often times resulted in verbal and physical aggression. The emotional dress would continue for a few hours where even interactions with family and friends would get affected.
These are just a few examples of triggers that can cause significant dress to individuals in the moment. Given that each person responds differently to the same situation, it’s important to take into consideration an individual’s thought patterns, personal biases, emotional regulation skills, relational patterns and previous life experiences and the way they may shape our perceptions and reactions.
(1) The first step to addressing such response patterns is identifying our triggers. Notice situations that cause significant dress. Maintaining a written record of the same can also help to understand the patterns that may emerge. Also become aware of the physiological changes in the body that occur when feeling triggered – this can include an increase in heart rate, changes in breathing pattern, muscle tension and so on.
(2) In the moment, when you find yourself experiencing a heightened reaction, it’s best to take a step back and move out of that situation. Take a pause and delay the urge to react for just a few moments. Leaving the physical space, or dracting oneself engaging in another task, or focussing on other stimuli in the environment can also help disengage and dissipate the dress.
(3) At the same time, a long-term approach to addressing such triggers is also important. Reflect on the personal vulnerabilities that may impact responses in a certain way. Address past experiences that may shape our responses and work on the belief systems that impact our ways of thinking and perceiving.
(4) Practising emotional regulation skills can go a long way in addressing these responses. Identify and label the emotions you experience and learn to tolerate the discomfort that arises from these feelings. Additionally, express these feelings in an open and honest manner with close friends and family. Responding to situations in an assertive manner can help in managing our communication effectively.
Lastly, remember to prioritise your self-care as you navigate the day-to-day challenges of life. Maintain a healthy balance, take regular breaks and take time out to do things you enjoy doing. Look after your physical health. Practise relaxation and mindfulness on a regular basis and maintain a positive, problem-solving attitude to life.