Shefali Shah on motherhood, dealing with ‘mom guilt’: ‘It is probably the toughest job in the world’

Shefali Shah, an actor par excellence, is known to be extremely articulate and sharp while expressing her thoughts. She recently interacted with author and column Twinkle Khanna for her platform Tweak India, during which she talked about her craft and career, and how she has managed to create a niche for herself while staying extremely aware and confident.
Calling herself “very, very self-deprecating”, the ‘Darlings‘ actor said there are days when she is not happy with who she is and what she looks like. She added that she acts, cooks and paints because she needs a “creative outlet”. “I cannot sit still, and I cannot just not do anything.”

When Twinkle asked her about her advice to other women who constantly deal with anxiety, Shefali said, “With age, you realise the battles you want to fight. You figure that [something is] not going to alter the universe if it doesn’t happen. I am not saying that I do not rearrange cushions, I still do that every 15 minutes, but all I am saying is… you cannot give advice to somebody. In life, there is no instruction manual. You’ve got to figure your own path…”

Elsewhere in the interview, Shefali talked about motherhood, telling the host that women who are mothers and those who take care of their homes, are not taken seriously. “It is probably the toughest job in the world. First the umbilical cord was not cut, then suddenly it snapped and they became dad’s kids and not mom’s kids anymore.”

The actor said about her children that the “only person they could fight with was me”. “Today when they look at me, or the way they talk about me, I can see the respect,” she shared.

While answering questions from leners, Shefali talked more about being a mother, particularly about dealing with ‘mom guilt‘, which is very common and a lot of celebrities have opened up about it in the recent past.
“After [becoming a] mom, I realised my parents did the best they could. They tried everything. It might not have been exactly what I wanted, but they did the best they could. And that is what I am going to try and do for my children,” the actor said.

Twinkle — a mother-of-two — shared her thoughts, too, stating that mothers have to accept that they cannot be ‘perfect’ all the time. “Being a mom, you have to accept that you are imperfect, and imperfect is what [your children] are going to get, and they should bloody well be happy with it.”
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