The doctor who realised she needed ‘me-time’ too and beat anxiety disorder

Sometimes doctors need a healing touch too and can be as stressed out as normal individuals. But the only advantage Dr Mandvi Singh had was she could self-diagnose her irritability and anxiety bouts as not just another age-related behaviour change or a whim. She didn’t sweep it under the carpet but rather decided to investigate why she could not be the happy self she always was from childhood. And that’s when she found out that she had a mental health problem that needed immediate redress. Six months later, she is a happy doctor, at ease with herself and helping put her patients at ease.
Dr Singh’s first consultation with a psycholog wasn’t something she had planned. Wondering if her restlessness had anything to do with her digestive problems, she decided to avail the benefits of winning a free subscription to an online consultation service called vHealth. She decided to consult a nutrition, who told her that her stress and anxiety were the underlying reasons for her gut health issues. So she decided to consult a psycholog on the same platform.
“I had definitely noticed a change in my behaviour – I had become short-tempered and more irritable. For a couple of months before I started the consultations, I found myself snapping at small things. I was getting into fights with my husband. Yet I was never like this. In fact, I was a happy, jolly person and I became a stranger to myself,” said Dr Singh, whose anxiety and stress stemmed from the seven hours she spent at the hospital and her clinic, her household chores and taking care of her eight-year-old son all at once.
Being a doctor herself, she started looking for answers but therapy was not her first solution. “At first, I thought it could be my hormones acting up. I got tested, checked in with an endocrinolog. But everything was fine. Then I went to the nutrition and finally to the psycholog. Taking help from a psycholog is not a bad thing like many believe it to be. Seeking advice for any kind of problem is actually a healthy thing to do and you get a perspective that you may want to deny,” said Dr Singh.
On her psycholog’s advice, she started taking “me-time” rather than cramming her day with to-do tasks. So, she began going to the gym for an hour every morning, shopping and going to the movies with her friends or her son. She also decided to intentionally remove all negative thoughts and people around her and set expectations with her family and friends.
“The first advice my therap gave me was to take care of myself first. She said that the ‘me’ time was very important. She explained that if I became a happy person, I would be a happy mother and a happy doctor. So, I started taking out time for gym or yoga in the morning, meditation at night and occasionally went out shopping. My therap also explained that I shouldn’t always depend on my husband for companionship. Now if he is busy, I go to the movies with my friends or even just my son,” said Dr Singh.
“Some people think that I have become more selfish – I used to do a lot of household chores that I don’t anymore. Why should I be the one taking care of everything? It’s a household chore and everyone should do their share. Now, I am also more open with my parents and husband and I tell them exactly what I can and cannot do. I have started setting expectations rather than just meeting others’ expectations of me,” she added. Instead of unnecessarily worrying about why her friends did not text her back, she now just asks them.
“I used to keep overthinking about all these stupid stressors. Now I understand that I have better things to do in life,” Dr Singh admitted. These therapy sessions have allowed her not only an outlet to unburden her feelings but helped her gain confidence in herself.
Her struggles have also made her much more aware of the troubles that her patients might be facing. “Now when I talk to my patients about these issues, I have realised that hundreds of women face similar challenges. The majority of all household chores are thrust on women and they are taught to just accept it. Now when my patients say that they have stress and anxiety, I guide them on how to make time for themselves. I also provide them resources on where to seek help,” she said.
After six months of counselling sessions, taking one or two sessions every month, she said she was feeling more and more like her old self. “My irritability has gone down, I feel more like my old self; not a 100 per cent yet, but much better than before.” And that’s a second beginning not only for herself but everybody around her.